I don’t have a bloody manual/Why are you asking me- Part 1

Chatting with other mothers over the past few months, there’s one thing that’s common among all of us- our husbands/boyfriends/baby daddies can sometimes act SO FRICKING USELESS!

Let me put it out here now, that this is not an attempt to bash my husband- the poor man tries (probably not his best or hardest- but he tries). If you’re reading along and shaking your head or shuddering- you either:

  1. Have the perfect husband/boyfriend/baby daddy OR
  2. Are in denial or a damn liar

 

I currently live in Spain. Here like most other countries, it’s highly recommended that you…

I had to stop writing to go give Liam a bottle. Mind you, I’m in the living room with the door closed and heard him fussing. HuzBun dearest is in bed, next to his crib… (SEE ATTACHED PHOTO). I couldn’t breastfeed him because I am enjoying a beverage (of the alcoholic persuasion) while writing. We’ll leave the details of that for another post.

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As I was ‘saying’.. it’s highly recommened that expectant mothers (and fathers) attend prenatal classes a few months before the baby is born. In these classes, (usually) a midwife preps you for what to expect during pregnancy, labour and delivery and then post partum.

I say all of this to say, that my husband attended these classes with me- he even TOOK NOTES- so for the life of me, I CANNOT understand WHY he asks me so many (obvious) questions on a DAILY basis, as it regards to our son.

I could literally write a book or (refer to title) manual on this. But I will summarise in sections so that you can skip to what interests you.

 

WHY IS THE BABY CRYING?

While I wish I had the answer to this question almost every time my son cries, the truth is your guess is almost as good as mine. Yet still, at the faintest little whimper, he (huzBun dearest) looks at me and asks me what is wrong with the baby.

My advice: Just shrug your shoulders or invent something. It makes no sense arguing or getting too deep because he will ask you again the next time the baby so much as frowns.

 

THE BABY IS HUNGRY!

I exclusively breastfed Liam for the first 3 months. I only started giving him formula because he developed the appetite of a grown man and my poor breasts couldn’t keep up. Not that I wasn’t producing enough milk (in most cases, your body produces as much as needed and sometimes even extra), but true talk- my nipples felt like someone cut them with razors and then dipped them in salt water (or rubbing alcohol)- they hurt! (again, that is for another post).

It turns out, when they don’t ask you why the baby is crying, it’s because they’ve already decided that the baby is hungry ad if you’re breastfeeing your baby and don’t have pumped/expressed milk, then obviously the only way the baby can be fed is by you. Now this is all well and good but has he:

  1. Checked the baby’s diaper
  2. Tried to entertain/play with the baby
  3. Does he remember the last time the baby was fed to actually decide if it is in fact hunger?
  4. Tried to put the baby to sleep

This list can go on and on… but let’s not.

What I want to say most times: Not everytime the child cries does it mean that he is hungry. Can you please discard other issues before running to me, with that ‘matter of fact’ smirk and telling me the baby is hungry? K, thanks!

My advice: Smile (or not) and say, he/she might not be and calmly ask if he has done the stuff on that list I included above.

 

WHERE IS…?

I lost my job in early June 2 and a half months before I was due (yet another thing for another post…) So I was at home with lots of time on my hands and a little bored, So I decided to organise all of Liam’s clothes by type, size and season- and all of his things by use (sponges, lotions, bath gel, wipes, blankets, etc). After working on this for about a month, I proudly tried to show it off to huzBun dearest- he however wasn’t very enthusiastic, if I’m to be honest. So now, 5 months (and 3 days) later, almost every time he has to bathe, change, clean, burp, play with the baby, he STILL asks me where the stuff he needs is.

What I want to do most times: CUSS and say ”Well, you maybe should have paid attention when I was trying to show you back in July! It has however been 5 months (and 3 days), so maybe- JUST MAYBE you should investigate in your free time and make a mental note of where everything is!

My advice: Act like you didn’t hear him ask you where whatever it is is. (I never promised good advice, this is just what I do from time to time). You can also label drawers/shelves etc- but be warned that even with labels, he will probably still ask you where things are.

 

This post is becoming quite long. Trust me, I could go on and on.

I’m curious to know, other mums out there, what are some of the annoying questions your significant other asks you. Share in the comments section and I’ll include some in Part 2 of this post.

What the hell do I know…?

If you know me, you know I had a baby 5 months and 3 days ago. I can count it down to the hours and minutes- but let’s face it… you probably don’t care.

Since I’ve had my son, a few mums have reached out to me and asked me for advice or my opinion on various things ”mummy/baby” related. I always think to myself- ”What the hell do I know…?” but I always try to help however I can.

You see, this whole mother thing doesn’t come with a manual. Of course there are various self help books and such but I honestly haven’t found one that’s my ‘definite go to’.

So what do I do, you may ask… well, I employ a bit of common sense, a bit of reading and very much appreciated advice from friends who are also mums and hope for the best.

To date, Liam (my son) is fine.

SO now to the business of this blog.

I am currently home with Liam- possibly until he turns 1 and while I love my boy, it’s only so interesting talking to a 5 month (and 3 days) old baby. If you know me, you know I am very opinionated and I don’t care too much about what people think (my days for that are long over).

Since I love to write and I have tons of opinions- I figure why not blog about this new adventure called mummyhood. Which direction is this blog going to go in? NO idea… but if I Can help another mum or entertain someone reading this- all the while doing something I love (writing)- well, why not?!

 

Disclaimer: This is NOT for the faint of heart, play by ALL the damn rules, judgy, boring mother.

Who is this blog catered to? New OPEN-MINDED mums, future mums, friends, family and quiet maccos.

Let’s see where this goes.